Thursday, August 29, 2013

Certis Cisco : The "Truth" About Illegal Parking

This my friend, is everyone's "best friend", also known as the "summon uncle" in Singapore. I may not know or have his name, but from his unfashionable sunglasses that look like they came off the streets from the night market of Bangkok, that to me already makes him one of a kind.

Yesterday, i stopped my car just directly outside the bank to drop off a cheque. That took about 30 seconds (or even less). I came back and as i was about to get into my car, there came him. I was the only car parked outside the bank and being nice, i told him that i was going off. By the way, while i was exiting the bank, he was still on his bike.

I expected him to signal to me to go off (like what most of the officers practice), but no. He came off his bike and told me that he had already booked me. I proceeded to see if there was any slip of paper on my windscreen but there wasn't any. I then asked him where was the fine and he started keying in his small portable device stuff before issuing me a slip of paper two minutes later. While he was doing this, the staff working at the bank was looking in shock and disgust by how he could have summoned me while i was right there, directly beside my vehicle.

What really annoyed me was the fact that he told me he had issued an offence when he clearly hasn't. And that if i just went into my vehicle and drove off, he wouldn't have gotten a chance to summon me. Therefore, it means because of my goodwill to have explained to him, i got a parking offence. The best part was that he told me to "cancel my fine" at LTA after issuing me with a slip of paper, without even signing on it.

This is the first time that i have been issued a fine while i am actually standing right beside my vehicle. Even if there was a quota for this officer to hit for the day, i honestly think what he did was ethically very wrong. But of course, issuing me a fine could have potentially saved his rice bowl given the pittance he is earning from his job and he might have a family to feed, so i didn't really blow up the matter. Not until i received an absurd email from Dawn Chan for Vice President Group Marketing and Coperate Communications, Certis Cisco.

"We wish to highlight that any motor vehicle found stationary, regardless waiting or parked in an unauthorized or non-designaed area is in contravention of traffic regulations and will be subjected to enforcement action"

Am i right to say that if i was waiting for someone in my vehicle, the officer would have issued me a ticket as well? Sad to say, this has not happened before. In fact just last week, i remember that i was in my vehicle waiting for someone while a Certis Cisco LTA officer went past and did not issue me a parking offence. My first question to Dawn " for VP" Chan is WHAT IS YOUR POLICY? If you wish to enforce that any vehicle found stationary waiting or parked is illegal, then you jolly well make sure that all your lowly paid and low intellectual Certis Cisco officers practice the same thing. 

"However, we were unable to substantiate that claim with the photograph(s) submitted by the officer."

Honestly, i would like to see what photographs the officer has taken, and if they have cleverly decided to crop me out in the photo. If their officer is implying that i was not at my vehicle when he issued me the fine, then why is it that i could even describe my conversation with him. Adding on to that, the staff in the bank was overlooking the whole scenario. And if you ask me, i would trust the staff in the bank compared to someone who looks like he went to jail and ended up working at Certis Cisco riding a motorbike going around issuing non-ethical fines.

"Separately you may wish to know that contrary to popular belief, our enforcement officers do not have any quota to meet."

I initially thought working for a Vice President takes a lot of brains - but i retract my statement now. I guess someone's title or who they are working for does not equate how smart they are. I clearly (looked through my email countless times) did not ask or even mention anything about quota in my email. Did someone that sent an email for a VP just shoot herself in the head? Why did she have to mention quota here when clearly i did not write anything about it in the email to her manager? I suggest the VP gets someone better to send his emails the next time. 

I wouldn't have written about this whole incident for thousands of people to read (or even show a face of the officer), but only an idiot would buy the story or explanation given. Clearly, there isn't a proper policy put in place because all their officers are practicing different things. 

And to end this serious post off on a lighter note - does this officer think he is Ninja Turtle? What's with the two strands of cloth sticking out at the back of his head?

So the next time you see a Certis Cisco officer, don't just stay in your car, or beside you car - run and accelerate. You never know whether the officer will issue with a fine or not. Anyway, like i mentioned earlier, there is no consistency among their officers - some fine you, some don't. Time to buck up Certis Cisco, at the rate you are doing stuff, don't even talk about security when you can't even get a simple thing like this right. Or perhaps shall i bring it all back to last August when the news reported someone missing valuables from their safe deposit box in August? Which just adds more truth to what i had to say about their officer.


  1. Simple. Because she has read ur tweet?

  2. this is bullshit, they don't fine you if you are in your car. this guy deserves to be on your blog!

  3. *jaw drop* clap clap clap !!!!

    *jaw drop* clap clap clap !!!!

    *jaw drop* clap clap clap !!!!